Shtep One: Download the iPhone Configuration Utility from Apple

Shtep Two: Futz with the Stuffz

Not shown: there’s an option at the bottom where you can stipulate self-wipe after as little as 5 incorrect passphrase attempts.

Shtep 3: Upload config as per instructions in the “Installing Configuration Profiles” section of the Deployment Guide.

Phdone.

All is forgiven.

PS phone is charging off the USB port, a nice touch. Pic related, droid included for scale.

I love you. Really I do. Out of all two international airlines I’ve flown, your by far the best. I’m only flying cattle class, in your planes cattle can only be a reference to those Japanese cows that live a hand-fed, daily massaged life.

It’s the little things you do so well that make the difference: the hot towel immediately on takeoff, recognising that just getting to the airport can be a hard day. The frequent — it feels like every ten minutes, but is probably more like once an hour — offers of a juice or water. I don’t do booze on flights, but the couple beside me do, and your staff have kept them supplied with beer and Baileys until they stopped whining (the couple, not the staff — as far as I can tell, bringing a constant stream of booze for this couple fulfilled the childhood dreams of the staff, judging by the looks on their faces)

I do apologise — turns out they weren’t sated, just resting — but once again the hostess bringing the booze seem thrilled to be of service. It’s little things like that that make me return every weekend to my favorite local cafe, and will keep me returning to your airline.

You get the big things right too — last time I flew SQ, I had the absolute pleasure of riding in an A380 from SIN to SYD. Being first to fly that plane, something you’re rightfully proud of, is just a small demonstration of your comittment to remaining one of the world’s leading airlines.

Right now I’m treating myself to a runthrough of my Living End albums on my iPod. This is a real treat — their early work remains some of my favourite music of all time, and I don’t get to listen to it often enough.

As nice as this is, it’s not what I had in mind when I boarded your aircraft. You see, you’re famous for your entairnment system, and again, rightly so. The games leave a bit to be desired, but your movie and TV selection is second to none. It’s not just the number of programs — it’s the variety! Hollywood, Bollywood, European and Chinese — you have a vast range of programming from all over the world. The first thing I did on boading the plane was to peruse your entertainment guide and plan my next 8 hours of relaxation.

So why am I listening to my own music? Because your entairnment system has failed me. It’s been off for over half the flight. It was off for over 90 minutes at the start of the flight. Eventually it came up, but minus the Video On Demand. Even so, I managed to watch some of Gomorrah on broadcast channel 13 — but before the movie ended, the system rebooted again.

After a considerable time with no entertainment the system came back. This time I decided to go for something shorter, so I started on some of the TV documentaries. I managed a show about gardens in India, and most of another show, before the system crashed entirely. Still about 2 hours from Singapore, and my only entertainment is provided by the music I provided my self, and writing you this rant.

I’m not going to pretend this means I won’t be back: an SQ flight with no entertainment still beats most carriers. I just want to let you know that flight SQ232 today was almost the perfect flight — it was only your entertainment system that let you down.

I loom forward to flying SQ again soon — my next three segments are already booked, the last one once again on your A380, the first mere minutes after I get off this flight — and look forward on particular to being reminded just how good your system can be when it’s working.

Same view, 1920.

That’s the Powerhouse Museum, located between Pyrmont and Ultimo. If you could hover above it in a helicopter, the view would look something like this:

Imagine if you could magically click a link and jump back in time, and see the same view from sometime between 1900 and 1939…

If you’re lost: in the older picture, look beyond the chimneystack, and just to the left. Immediately beyond the chimney is a vacant block of land; at the top end of this is a short road, which has on the right a not-quite-right-angle corner. The road then continues up the picture — but it’s not quite straight, it bends a little to the right. If you look at the modern picture, you can see the same not-quite-right-angle corner and the same not-quite-straight road — although now the Western Distributor flys across the not-quite-straight road.

See the large building inside the block bounded by the not-quite-straight road? That building is Global Switch Sydney — built in the last days of “Build it and they will come”. It’s only in the last few years that it’s starting to reach full capacity.

The railway line visible in the earlier picture was the Darling Harbour Goods line, which formed the first part of the Metropolitan Goods Railway Line. It’s now used as the Metro Light Rail line.

This led to the source of (apparently) all pet insurance in Australia; which then led to comparison shopping between the various resellers.

The differences are amusing, but annoying. One provides 15k total cover; but only $500 for tick paralysis. Another only offers 9k total cover; but removes the restrictions on what percentage of that can be used for drugs/medication vs how much is for dental care. None of them cover treatment for leukemia in cats; but some add an additional clause declining to cover any condition for which there is a vaccine.

I’d like to go with the RSPCA - if someone has to make a profit, they seem like a better choice than some of the for-profit companies. But the limits are half that provided by Medibank, while the premiums are double. Sure you can skim profit off the top, but that doesn’t mean I want you to gouge me for every cent I own.

Gah. Choices, that aren’t really choices. Just what I wanted.

More interestingly, an anonymous commenter (who I think I’m going to name “Deep Train”) left a comment, which got held for moderation. Rather than letting it through, I’m going to publish it here, as it’s worthy of its own post.

It is worse than you think. If CityRail was in the energy business it would be called Enron. As I understand it, the figures are fudged in various ways, but I only have unsubstantiated rumours to that effect.

So on-time running is measured only at Central at the moment. However, I heard today, confirming unsubstantiated rumours, that on-time running is lower than 25% at some stations.

These performance indicators should be measured by an independent organisation.

But that’s just stupidity. This is outright theft:

The most recent legal case, decided on November 27, also forced Optus to concede it had stolen 100 numbers from a tiny telecommunications carrier in Vanuatu and then allowed a pair of its pornographer partners, Global Internet Billing in Britain and MDC in Europe, to use the stolen numbers for their business.

Optus then kept the proceeds of these calls, money which would have normally been payable to the Vanuatu carrier.

[1] Of course, the difference would probably be entirely in the marketing and not in the implementation of the service, but that’s nothing new.

Remeber how shortly afterwards Cityrail had posters all over the stations with graphs showing the huge increase in on-time running compared to the same time last year — and didn’t mention that the two sets of numbers used different definitions of “on time”?

They’re doing it again. Cityrail has a target of no more than 5% of services running at more than 135% passenger capacity — but over the last two years, the actual figure has been 16%. Rather than trying to fix the problem, they’re redefining the target to be 17%.

Keep in mind that this is not 16% of services at full capacity: this is 16% of services at least 35% *over* the rated capacity of the carriage.

Well done Shittyfail!

The second message was even more bizarre. After the excitement of the first message and the realisation that there was only Australian beer left and the sun hadn’t yet set, we were rapt to see the skywriter trace out the word ‘THE’. We gazed on as he added, ‘CREATOR’. Intrigued, we cooed as the pilot scrawled ‘IS’… and waited for the payoff…

‘JESUS‘.

Fuck. I mean, that’s not even biblically accurate, surely! Jesus doesn’t come in until after the Triwizard Tournament! According to Genesis, Yahwehdidit. He was so clever, he managed to create the world twice in two different orders!

See, I lost interest in this even earlier: when I last saw this bit of drivel it had just turned into “The”, and I got bored and went back inside. For a few moments before that, the sky had proudly been advertising “THC”…

(Side note: I found this past via a pingback on Stilgherrian’s post “Telstra, you goddam bloody idiots!” — you’ll have to read both posts to figure out the connection)